So, it’s Saturday morning. You wake up after a lovely long lie in, cook yourself a fried breakfast and think “ooh, I may have to pop into town today”.

First things first, 1. why are you even thinking that? And 2. NO JUST NO.

If you have ever been in Lincoln on a Saturday you’ll know it’s a dangerous business. Getting from Waterstones to Primark? Are you kidding me? It’ll take you about five hours to battle your way through that hoard of old women or those mums with prams.

But if you are that desperate to buy that fabulous scarf in the window and can only get it this weekend then here are our tips for you:

• Get your friend to pick it up for you (this means you get to stay in your warm, toasty bed all day instead). Perfect.
• Learn how to swerve past people.
• Go early. Very early.
• Never ever go into Primark unless you don’t want to get out again.
• Go with a friend (you can help save each other before getting sucked into Wilkinsons).

And here’s a warning from us at Lincoln & That, be careful and take your time. Shopping can be dangerous too.