If you’ve had the joy of walking along the High Street in the past couple of weeks, you’ll notice that there is a major construction project happening near the Lloyds Bank and opposite(ish) Boots.

THERE’S GOING TO BE A NEW RIVER ISLAND.

So, if you’re like me, and fancy spending £30 on a single shirt, then you’re in luck.

I tend to find it is the kind of shop I only want to go in once I’ve got some gift vouchers, but fortunately my family have cottoned onto this to the extent that one Christmas present is always a voucher for said shop.

At the moment in store there’s a lot of shirts with pictures of Amsterdam (through various Instagram filters) with the word “AMSTERDAM” emblazoned over the top of it in some hipster fonts, so if you’re a fan of that kind of thing, be my guest (I’m not, I have terrible fashion sense, I can basically just about pull together some colours as a “theme”…and that’s me being generous about my own abilities).

It also says outside the new store that they are “recruiting”, but they’re not, I did a search and there are no jobs available at all at the new store. SO IT’S ALL LIES.

I wanted to get a Saturday job so I could graduate with at least some level of money, but apparently they don’t want Fashion Supremo Richard Morris working for them.

As I went to hit “Schedule” on this post, I was made aware that in fact The Lincolnite, a more serious and boring news source, has already done a story on this, so if you want to be bored to death click here.