Those familiar with Lincoln will know the sinking feeling (no, not the song by the ‘the the’) you get when someone, usually a newbie, mentions popping up Steep Hill to look at pretty buildings (apparently there’s a cathedral and castle up there or something, you might not have heard of it).

The clever person was who called it Steep Hill was pretty accurate, and quite frankly, they deserve a round of applause. So here’s how the lovely people of Lincoln get up Steep Hill without dying.

• Wear appropriate shoes. For some bizarre reason, there are brave people who think they can tackle the hill wearing stilettos. It’s difficult enough to walk on cobbles in heels, so why give yourself the task of cobbles that are practically vertical? Other shoes that may cause you problems include flip-flops, crocs and anything without grip.
• Ice. If it’s icy, you might want to take a sledge or your ice skates for on the way down.
• Don’t eat. This hill on a full stomach or after a lot of cake and sweets will leave you with a large stitch.
• Take water. On approach to Steep Hill, you’ll pass several shops and cafes, if you value your life, you might want to pop in and buy a drink for the journey. Trust us, you’ll need it.
• Take breaks. There are places to stand and catch your breath, make use of them. A good way to mask your break, is to take photos, then people will think you’ve stopped for the views. Some genius even installed benches at the top, they deserve a knighthood.
• Pace. Views on pace vary, a lot. Some say walk slowly to make your energy last longer, whilst others prefer a quick power walk to get the unpleasant task over and done with.
• Avoid it. There are several other ways to get up Steep Hill that are less steep, this helps you to keep your dignity as no one is around to watch you suffer.

Remember these points on your next adventure and everyone will be jealous when you’re not (as) out of breath. We take no responsibility for your safety, but you may want to write your will just in case, here’s how.