So, we’ve all heard about this NekNominate thing. My first issue with NekNominate is how they’ve spelt it, shouldn’t it be spelt like this neck-o-nominate? That makes more sense and now it looks like it’s been spelt correctly too.

That’s not the only idiotic thing about NekNominate. I know.

It’s a waste of good alcohol, food and condiments. Come on students! We scrounge for this sort of stuff usually. It’s a luxury, you know.

Anyway, I got nominated last Friday, because obviously they thought this was such a brilliant and funny idea that I would apparently take part in it.

But who invented this? The Irish? No. The Americans? No. The Canadians? No. In fact it was the Australians. How the fuck are they still alive? It’s probably all that heat that makes them sweat out all the bad toxins.

With livers being damaged everywhere in Britain we have realised, we’re not as hardcore as the Australians with alcohol, we’re hardcore tea drinkers with our dunking biscuits. The Guardian wrote an article on the art of tea drinking and biscuit dunking. Why not start Nomina-Tea?

If you still don’t understand what NekNominate is here is the definition voted most popular on Urban Dictionary:

The mating ritual of Aussie Bogans, who in order to demonstrate their penis length/girth and demonstrate their readiness and desire to mate with other Bogans, must chug a full beer on video, and then nominate another Bogan to do the same.Most commonly practiced before a night taking the Commo out to Chapel Street, downing a slab at Bazza’s place, or hitting the drags at Dandy.

“Tommo totes just chugged a Vic, and NekNominated that dog cunt Robbo”.
“The Ranga got NekNominated, the weak dog only downed a double black!”.

So, let’s get back to my Neck-O-Nominate, what will I be doing? What will be my spirit of choice? And what other edible things will I be mixing? Well the plan is neither of the sort.

Keep your eyes open for my Neck-O-Nominate this week. Or don’t as this may never happen.