Author Archives: Luke Botham

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Top 10 Dissertation Procrastinations

Photo: Deathroy - The Lincoln Goose via Facebook.Deathroy the goose blending in with his surroundings and swimming with the swans.

If you’re anything like us busy bees at L&T, you’ll be in the height of your dissertation writing at the moment (oh the pains).

And if you’re also an avid follower, you’ll know L&T is due to take a bit of a holiday from this week so we can write ours (yay).

So as a special treat, here are ten other things you could find yourself doing instead of that dastardly d word..

1. Facebook and Twitter. When you might come across posts like this, do I need to say more?!

A photo of a Facebook Status.

Photo: Via Facebook.

A photo of a Facebook Status.

Photo: Via Facebook.

A photo of a Facebook Status

Photo: Via Facebook.

2. Watch Location, Location, Location. There’s nothing more annoying than Kirsty Allsopp, but you’ve just got to love her and Phil on what has to be one of the best shows in the universe.

3. Hide in one of Lincoln’s best cafés. We at L&T love a good brew and slice of cake. So go to Coffee Aroma, or Churchills or maybe even Bells’. Cake is ALWAYS more important than dissertation! We’ve heard cronuts are also rather nice.

Freshly baked 'cro-nutz' on a tray, topped with butterscotch and maple syrup with pecan.

4. Make your own Krabby Patty. They look amazing, I’ve always wanted to try one!

5. YouTube is always a wonderful place to go when your diss drives you to despair. Here are some of the oddest and funniest videos you’ll ever see:

6. Go on Buzzfeed. Because who doesn’t want to know which of Harry Styles’ ex’s they are or what haircut you should actually have?!

7. Pretend you’re Beyonce and have a little sing a-long, unless you’re on the third floor of the library. That would just be awkward. No, of course I’ve never done it….

8. Wander up Steep Hill. Our very own Richard Morris “genuinely goes for walks up Steep Hill when I reach the end of my tether with this fucking work”. And so do many of us. We feel for you Richard.

9. Pretend you’re Davina McCall and write letters to long lost family members. You never know, they might pay your tuition fees for you.

10. Randomly throw bread in the air at the Brayford and see how many ducks/seagulls/swans catch it mid-flight. It’s like the Brayford’s answer to football and is very fun (just don’t drop your phone into the water like our writer Alice did…)

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What To Expect From Eskimoo

The Eskimoo sign in Grimsby, Lincolnshire.

Picture the scene; you’ve been wandering the streets of Lincoln having a good old window shop and you need a tasty drink to replenish your thirst.

And what better way to rehydrate yourself than through a nice fresh milkshake, eh?

Plus, if you’re Kelis, your milkshake might bring boys like this…

#yesplease

or this…

to your yard.

And that’s where Eskimoo comes in. Eskimoo is a duo of milkshake shops based in Lincoln. You can’t miss them due to the “cute” cartoon cow on their logo. Plus, when you go in, there’s a huge board on the wall with every sweet and chocolate you can ever think of. From chocolate orange and turkish delight to smarties and skittles, they have it all.

So you choose a flavour and they blend it into a shake. The stakes are high here. If you choose the wrong flavour, it may just be the most devastating thing ever.

But whatever you choose, it’s all for the lovely price of £2.95. Pull the udder one, you say? I’m not milking it, they really are that cheap. And believe me, they’re so worth it. Pat on the back for guessing my favourite flavour…

No?

It has got to be the After Eight one.  That one is amazing.

You can also pay a bit extra for toppings, but to be honest they don’t make that moo-ch difference because the taste of the actual milkshake is so strong.

Oh, and they also have a ‘student shake’ which is basically a lot of redbull. I’ve never tried this, as it might just finish me off, but I’ve heard it’s rather nice.

So if you want those boys in your yard, buy an Eskimoo and take it home with you. Capisce?

As a bonus prize, here are some wonderful cow jokes.

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What To Expect From The Barge On The Brayford

A view of Lincoln's Brayford Pool with the University of Lincoln in the background. The sky is grey and cloudy.

The Barge on the Brayford is basically a little restaurant-boat-thing floating on the Brayford. But unlike Wagamama’s, it doesn’t completely trash the nice view – in fact, it probably wouldn’t look right without it.

It’s a very romantic little vessel. Especially if you like things to be “cosy”. It’s quite small, as boats usually are, and you don’t have “that” much personal space when it’s busy in there. It’s like being packed in a tin of sardines.

You could go there with a significant other, friend or someone that you like to share your “romantic” moments with. The posh table cloths, mellow lighting and candles will make things even more lovey dovey as you stare longingly into one another’s eyes. Ew.

As for the menu, well, it’s pretty well known for serving fish courses. Lots and lots and lots of fish courses. If you can think of a fish, they probably have it. It’s kind of like being in an aquarium. And no, that isn’t a euphemism (remember, they have lots of fish courses).

They even serve duckling. Yes, DUCKLING. Lincolnshire duckling, to be exact.

There are lots of other wonderful foods on offer, including meats and salads. Which is good, because personally, the idea of eating a duckling makes me want to vomit.

I’m not a fussy eater, but I also have odd cravings? So, whilst on a barge full of wonderful sea food, what did I have? Lincolnshire sausage & mash, of course. But it was wonderful. The mash was cooked perfectly and the sausages were very meaty (and I do like a good sausage). There was also plenty of gravy, which is of course a necessity.

The atmosphere is great and there’s also a really nice view. Even when it’s dark, the night time view of the Brayford looks really pretty. (It’s basically the perfect Instagram moment).

The Barge on The Brayford is much more than just a barge. It’s an M&S barge. Well not really, but it is pretty much as perfect as some of the reduced things you might find in there. To get you in the mood, here’s a lovely boat themed song…

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Never Be Alone (With Paris Hilton, Her Voice May Cause Illness)

A picture of Paris Hilton looking away from the camera in a pink wall against a brick wall and blue carpet.

Paris Hilton unveiled a snippet of her new music video on Valentine’s Day (how romantic and thoughtful of her, it’s just what I always wanted).

It’s called Never Be Alone.

We already knew prior to this tune that Paris is never alone, she’s always got that little dog in her handbag, hasn’t she?

Anyway, one YouTube user summed up the sound of the song pretty well, saying:

Kylie Minogue with much autotune.

This is sort of true, because a) it does sound a bit like Kylie with a cold and b) there is without a doubt ‘much autotune’. Sorry Kylie.

She claims during the song that she’ll take us to “new dimensions”. Does she even know what dimensions are? Well, I hope this means a 4-dimensional cinema, as I’ve never been to one of those. The video is a bit sexual. Dirty Paris.

The video also features random appearances from Marilyn Monroe, who of course isn’t actually there – cut scenes of her have just randomly been blended in. This would be quite nice, but as Paris has literally nothing in common with her except hair colour and hopefully only hair colour, we’re quite baffled as to why she’s included Something to do with fashion, apparently.

Throughout the preview, Paris sits on a delightful pink chair that she was perhaps gifted with during a Poundland (or Dollar Tree) Secret Santa. It looks like the sort of thing you might find in a chav‘s back garden in summer.

Oh and the kaleidoscope effects used are a *wonderful* touch.

The lyrics are very repetitive and probably a bit catchy. Whilst it doesn’t appear to have an official release date yet, you might see us raving to it in “da club” fairly soon. Who knows. We can’t wait to see the full video. Hurry up Paris, you tease.

 

 

 

 

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Tomorrow Is Bobble Day!

It’s time, ladies and gentlemen, for the day you’ve had marked in your calendar all year….Bobble Day!

And no, it hasn’t got anything to do with hair bobbles.

I'm not sure where Phil from Flickr found this hat, but I want it. Seriously, who doesn't want to be a space invader? Photo: Phil Oakley (via Flickr)

I’m not sure where Phil from Flickr found this hat, but I want it. Seriously, who doesn’t want to be a space invader? Photo: Phil Oakley (via Flickr)

As you’ve probably guessed from the pic, it’s actually all about bobble hats and is part of a campaign by Age UK to get everyone to wear their woolly clothes and bobbles all day.

Why?

Because if you haven’t already noticed, it’s pretty damn cold at the moment. But whilst most of us take heating and warmth for granted, lots of old biddies out there can’t afford to heat their houses.

Age UK are trying to raise money to help warm them up a bit and Bobble Day is a huge part of this mission.

Stokes’ Coffee on the High Street are selling badges with bobbles on for £1 as part of the day and one lucky person will win some free tea and cake next week. And come on, who doesn’t like cake? When it’s free, well, that’s basically heaven on a plate.

Georgina Garrett and Helena Burt from Lincoln’s Age UK had a little chat with us about this. Listen below.

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How To Amuse Yourself At The Train Barriers

A photo shows 2 people, an old man and a younger man stood waiting at the train barriers. The older man yields a bike. How exotic.

A little while ago we posted a delightful little guide on what to do whilst waiting at the train barriers.

But we thought it’d just be wrong if we didn’t get a slice of the train related action ourselves.

So here’s a little video, showing you exactly how to have a wild time when those pesky barriers block your path.

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What To Expect From Steep Hill…Part 2

This photo shows the top half of Lincoln's Steep Hill. There are several buildings in a line with a man walking by.

If you read the first part of this guide last week, you may have spent the last few days lost, trapped in the fog and eagerly anticipating what to do next. Well, fear not, here is part 2.

The first shop you’ll encounter here may be 44, which is easily our favourite Steep Hill spectacular. It’s basically a really cute craft shop which sells notebooks, postcards, cushions and general household objects. Some of these are imported from places like Japan, making them totally unique in Lincoln. So oriental!

Next there are a couple more little boutiques and clothes shops that sell lots more vintage items. We tend to spend awfully long in these, but as we said earlier, we’re basically all grannies. Seriously, you should see my mothballs. That’s not a euphemism. The rest of the customers too are either grannies, or ‘young’ grannies like us. It’s like a wild little OAP party.

If you’re an avid reader, you’ll have noticed our rather incredible review of Bell’s tea and coffee house the other week. This should most definitely be your next stop as it sells some amazingly tasty home-made cakes. If you don’t like cake, just get out. Stop reading now and leave.

Anyway, after this, you can wash down the cake with a wonderful mini pub crawl. This should include pubs like the Wig & Mitre and Widow Cullen’s Well. These are like proper old school, stereotypically English pubs. They’re complete with comfy armchairs, massive rugs (ooh, raunchy) and even portraits of random, slightly creepy bearded men for your perusal. They do very cheap cider though and are friendly, which is always nice.

You’ve now made it to the top of 2012’s best street ever in the universe or something. Congratulations. Here you’ll find another cafe and another pub (woop). If you’re one of the ridiculously slow path hogging tourists who’ve come to see Lincoln after watching the Da Vinci Code, you’ll be happy to hear that the Cathedral is up here, too. Exciting times, dear readers!

 

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What To Expect From The Brand Spanking New Shed.

The Shed. You’ve probably been there and if you’re a Lincolnite, you’re probably a fan.

But at the back end of last year, tragedy hit when they announced they were to close and become an office block… Dun Dun Dun!

The University of Lincoln’s Student Union came to the rescue (such heroic specimens), announcing they’d save The Shed and make it a student bar.

This brand new Shed (a.k.a The Shed Student Bar – what a mouthful) opened today.

They’ve got some shiny new beer pumps (shiny, oooh. They’re like weird round mirrors. Literally, you can check yourself out) along with lots of new beers (yay!) and free wifi that now actually works. This is of course the highlight and means you now have no excuse not to have those group meetings you’ve been putting off for oh so long.

It’s also cheaper. The SU have wangled some much better prices on the drinks. If you like Carlsberg, it’s now £2.

At the moment they’re still using those wonderful old (sometimes a bit sticky) tables that we all know and love. This will be changing soon (yay for a new wood smell)!

The menus and offers will be changed in September, but until then, the ones we know and love will keep going. This means Shed Wednesdays and Half Price Breakfast Thursdays shall live on (wahoo). You may or may not see us writing our posts in there. If you do, approach us with caution.

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What To Expect From Lincoln New Year

A scenic picture of fireworks in pink and orange in the night sky above a city scape.

In Chinese terms, 2014 is the year of the horse. And if you’re out seeing in this new year tonight, this is hopefully something that won’t be featuring in your post-night-out kebab (that scandal is so 2013, after all).

But if you can’t actually decide what to do with your life tonight, there are an array of events happening across the city to bring the year in with a bang.

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